Mud and Blood
by pjinky
Summary: An imagining of the Fae Wars, pitting Bo against Tamsin after everybody's favorite Succubus is taking a turn for the Dark. The rest of the gang has chosen a side already, but loyalties start to waver when the Valkyrie is taken prisoner and Lauren finally accepts the fact that Bo is no longer herself. I'm not sure where this is going, but I do know that this is a story about Copdoc.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey y'all,**

**This is my first fanfic ever, so hit me with all you've got. I mean it, be as mean as you like, I can take it, and I really wanna hear your thoughts. **

**Not a native English speaker. I don't own Lost Girl either. But I am grateful to this show, to its characters, and especially to Tamsin, for getting me to start writing again. **

**Thanks, and happy reading!**

She had stopped looking in the mirror a while ago. She didn't need to anymore, she could put on that battered armor with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back. She knew all the chinks and dents, the slash marks left by countless enemy swords and arrows, none too strong to pierce through the golden metal forged by gods.

Truth be told, she never expected to need the rusty old thing again. When Bo rose to power and united all clans of Fae, both dark and light, young and old, the Valkyrie sighed a sigh of relief and was ready to hang out her sword and armor for good. Ready to retire and drink herself into oblivion, to forget everything and everyone and slowly slip into nothingness. She did not want a quick death this time. This was her last death and she was going to enjoy it, cherish it and remember every second of it, to her final breath.

Well, that was until everything started to change. Thinking back, Tamsin still couldn't believe that two years before everything was still so… normal. Then the first signs started showing. Nothing big at first, just small mannerisms, a strange look on her face now and then, as if the Succubus had trouble understanding what was going on around her, then unnecessarily sharp retorts to her friends' comments – all of these slowly escalated until she was hardly recognizable anymore. To Tamsin, at least.

What's worse was that by the time the Valkyrie realized what was happening, it was already too late to do anything. At first, she just thought the changes in Bo's attitude were because of their trip to Valhalla to recover Kenzi and that she would eventually snap out of it and get back to her normal face-sucking self. A perilous journey to the farthest depths of Valhalla and back was bound to leave some marks, right? But it was more than that, Tamsin realized. It was like Bo was undergoing a slow transformation to become something else, to be reborn… as who? Or as what?

And then one day, right before Bo brought all the Fae factions to the same table to have them swear allegiance, Tamsin figured it out. Bo wouldn't need to demand fealty, she'd earn it, and she wouldn't have it any other way.

She had actually said as much back then. Bo sighed, the shadow of a smile creeping at the corners of her mouth. "Tamsin, I swear to God these Fae are sometimes worse than children. Always so stubborn, sometimes it's just better to tell them what to do instead of waiting around forever for them to figure it out. It's all for the best, you'll see."

The Valkyrie didn't say anything then. She just stared the succubus in the eye and what she saw there terrified her. It was still Bo, blue-eyed, wonderful, impossibly perfect Bo, but there was something else lurking behind, something that Tamsin couldn't pinpoint exactly, but reminded her of the father. The monster had found a way back to this world after all… and what was worse was that the Valkyrie was convinced it was her fault. Her fault for allowing Bo to accompany her on the quest to save Kenzi. Her fault for taking his money so long ago.

Tamsin didn't wait long to act. As soon as the Fae leaders convened in the large hall of what had been the Morrigan's favorite estate, she sought up some members of the elders' council that she still considered friends and tried to convince them of how wrong this was. Some of them listened, but most of them did not and turned her away, urging her to accept the new order, this new world of peace, prosperity and coexistence with the human race.

"You're wrong, and I hope you won't be alive long enough to see it," she would say simply in return and walk away. Eventually she took her claim to the Blood King. Dyson was there, forever loyal to the one and only bloodline that had just united all things Fae. They were celebrating. Luckily, Bo was nowhere in sight, but the two humans that never left her side were: Kenzi and the doctor. Both of them had changed a lot over the past year, like they were carrying a heavy, invisible burden all the time and couldn't really breathe or lift their heads or they'd be instantly crushed. That's why she actually thought they'd believe her and support her in stopping Bo and getting her back to her senses.

"You're wrong, Tamsin, and I hope you will be able to see it one day," Lauren told her, echoing her own words. Kenzi just nodded in approval and added, only half convinced, "Tam-Tam, honey, you know this is all for the best, right? Finally, some friggin' peace around here!" The words cut through her like a sharp blade, leaving her emotionally bloodied and on the brink of despair, but she didn't show it. She never did. No matter how much those two humans meant to her.

In the months they worked together to find a way of getting Kenzi back, she had grown quite fond of Lauren. Their relationship was still strained, but they had become used to being around each other and gradually relaxed into a friendship of sorts. If she had to be entirely honest, the Valkyrie found herself increasingly drawn to the human doctor, especially after she started noticing the changes in Bo's behavior, but she never said or did anything to let Lauren know, and she watched in silence how the object of her infatuation only had eyes for her precious Succubus. And Kenzi was family – hell, she had practically raised her after her rebirth, but she was never going to leave Bo's side. How could she? How could anyone even dream to leave when they were under the protection of the world's mightiest Fae?

So their reaction did not really come as a surprise to Tamsin, but the searing pain it caused did. She shouldn't have cared so much. Trick and Dyson dismissed her quickly and suggested she take a nap to sleep off her drunkenness and clear her head. They laughed out loudly and reassuringly. She wasn't drunk, but she left anyway. She got in her truck and drove as fast and far as she could, making only a brief stop at the crackshack to get her armor and weapons. She would be ready when the time came.

And today was the day, it seemed. As she finished tightening up her armor, she remembered how surprised she was to see Trick in front of her motel door one evening. He was with five or six other Fae she only knew vaguely.

"You sure as fuck took your time, old man," she said, urging them inside. And that was the beginning of their resistance. Trick was the only one of the old gang who realized what his granddaughter was becoming. He had first tried talking some sense into her, then cast a spell or two and even tried to feed her strange potions he prepared himself – nothing worked. The Succubus was just about to throw him in a dungeon, when he narrowly escaped along with a handful of former Light Fae who had sat on the council. Dyson remained by Bo's side, as did Lauren and Kenzi.

The rebels were able to put together a pretty good army, Tamsin thought, and she worked day and night to train them. No match for Bo's impressive numbers, but still, they'd have a decent fighting chance. For a while, they adopted guerilla warfare techniques and dealt some serious damage to strategic objectives for the new Fae leader. Trick explained that most of the key positions in Bo's rule went to former prominent Dark Fae. The few Light members who had become trusted advisors to the succubus had to abandon their ways and join the Dark in habits and attitude, albeit without any official pledge.

"She isn't uniting the Fae, she's turning all of them Darker than they ever were before," the Blood King told Tamsin. "You were right from the start and now it may be too late to stop her." Tamsin just smiled and patted him on his back. "We'll figure something out, barkeep, we have to. No way I'm letting that succuslut turn this into the friggin' Faepocalypse or something. Not without me riding a pale horse all over her dark bullshit," she grinned.

Today was the first time they'd engage in open combat after dozens of scuffles and smaller fights over the past few months. Nobody had claimed victory after those skirmishes, so open confrontation remained the only way to settle this once and for all, Tamsin told herself. Today she would lead the frayed resistance into battle against a much bigger, much more dangerous foe. She was pretty sure she was going on a suicide mission, but she hoped to at least be able to get to Bo before dying. She had insisted that Trick and some of the elders leave as far away from the battlefield as possible and continue researching ways to turn Bo back to her old self in case the Succubus won the war. Which was a very distinct possibility.

Tamsin didn't actually think getting Bo back was possible anymore, but she wanted Trick to live. He'd lost a hand in a previous fight and he was getting more depressed and more desperate by the second, ready to give his life to the first enemy soldier he'd encounter. But Tamsin obstinately refused to allow him to tag along.

"Someone has to make it out of this mess, Trick. And you're the brains in the equation, you owe it to Bo and all the fucking Fae to figure this out, okay?" He nodded and shook her hand, looking down. "I'm sorry for not believing you sooner, Valkyrie. It has been an honor to be by your side." "Same here, old man. Now get going before I change my mind and throw you in with the first line of attack!" She had always hated goodbyes and for good reason, she was absolutely horrible at them.

Trick and his group left shortly after midnight. The battle was set to begin at first light, which was what Tamsin was contemplating now on her white horse, clad in her old armor and clutching the hilt of her sword like it was the end of the world. Her army was right behind her, lined up among the trees on the ridge. On the opposite ridge above the deep ravine, the enemy was putting on an impressive display, keeping their lines tight, their brand new armor shining brightly as the first light of morning fell upon them. They started chanting something unintelligible, but in an unnerving rhythm.

She rolled her eyes and turned to the soldier on her left. He was considerably shorter, a bit chubby and had a geek vibe going. His armor was old, she could tell, but it had hardly been used.

"Remind me why the fuck did we go full on medieval for this thing?" she asked, never taking her eyes off the enemy.

"Less conspicuous, apparently. Easier to keep away from nosy humans than a bunch of supernatural beings firing automatics and bazookas at each other, I guess. Publicized as the 3rd edition of the International LARPing Convention."

She turned her head and cocked an eyebrow inquisitively. "It's pretty ingenious actually, come to think of it. LARPing is…" the man went on but was quickly interrupted.

"Dude, I know what LARPing is. It's just that I honestly didn't expect anyone to give a shit about appearances anymore, yaknow…"

The soldier nodded. "Yeah, tell me about it… Well, the irony doesn't elude me," he smiled. "See, it's a bit of a hobby of mine," he smiled apologetically. "LARPing, that is. All the dressing up, pretending you're someone you're not anymore…" his voice trailed off.

She took a closer look at the man, she didn't know what kind of Fae he was, and she honestly didn't care. She didn't even know why she was wasting her time talking to him, but as she watched him trying to saddle his horse and being terribly bad at it, she realized the man was absolutely terrified. He was experiencing a kind of terror he had never felt before and he'd been around for centuries.

She felt a sudden urge to tell him everything would be okay, that everything would be over soon and he'd be alive but she couldn't. She saw his death so clearly, to the tiniest detail, lifeless eyes facing the ground, blood trickling from his mouth. She couldn't lie to him, but what she could do was make him fearless.

"Hey, watch your back out there, 'kay?" The man turned and looked the Valkyrie in her bright green eyes and all of a sudden it felt as if the weight of the entire world was taken off his chest. He nodded, smiling. "You too, commander."

She grinned at him, as she pulled his fear and terror toward her by an invisible thread, owning it and allowing it to become part of herself and blend with her own sense of dread and doom._ Fuck this shit_, she decided.

She turned her head to the enemy lines once again, searching, but what she was looking for wasn't there. She spotted Dyson in a commanding officer's armor, talking with another soldier or possibly his second in command. Their eyes met briefly, or at least she thought they did, as he saw him nod curtly and she surprised herself returning the gesture. So he was the one she'd go up against, not Bo. While she entertained the idea of kicking the wolf boy's butt for eternity, she needed him alive for her plan to work. She made up her mind on the spot, as a sharp sense of clarity washed over her, comforting her and dispelling any doubt.

"Yo, listen up!" She called the troops to attention. They all turned their heads to face her, their hands already tight around their weapons. "I've given too many speeches before battle to have the patience for another one. But know that this right here, today, is possibly the most important war we ever fought. The most important war humanity has ever fought."

All the soldiers were silent, waiting for her to go on.

"Y'all know that epic battle scene in _The Two Towers_, where they're riding down the hill to join the Battle of Helm's Deep? And everybody's relieved and shit cuz the White Wizard's saving the day?" Some soldiers nodded, others murmured in approval. Tamsin smiled, satisfied. "Well, it's gonna be nothing like that today!" she grinned as some troops started laughing. "Although I was told I look like Gandalf in a certain light after a really, really bad hangover."

More laughter followed, and she gave it a few seconds to die down before going on: "I guess what I'm trying to say is that today nothing matters. Or none of that complete bullshit we were told matters over the years. When we reach the bottom of this ravine, we will not exist anymore. There'll only be blood and death. And you won't think, you'll just fight and kick and bite and scream. You won't be you anymore. We'll all be just raw, primeval weapons strummed to perfection, with only one goal: TO KICK THEIR SCRAWNY BUTTS," she roared and her army followed suit almost instantly, cheering and yelling, weapons already drawn, raised high above their heads.

She turned to face the enemy once more and saw they were already on the move. Without second thoughts, she sounded the attack and charged with everything she had, her troops close behind. Before noon, half of them would be already dead, she knew.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, follows and favorites, you're really an extraordinary crowd! **

**To give fair warning, I won't be able to upload as often as I'd like, because my life is split between a crazy job that turned me into a robot and a crazy family whom I love deeply despite what they might think. But I'll do my best to not keep you waiting for too long. **

**Any reviews and feedback would be much appreciated! Thanks again, everyone.**

She hadn't had much sleep lately. She knew, she felt it and she was logically aware that her brain was suffering from it, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She had tried to determine the reason scientifically time and again, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. And Bo wasn't helping.

The night before the big battle, she showed up in her tent, positively glowing, oozing confidence and lust. It didn't take much convincing, of course. She had protested feebly that she was too tired, that they had a big day ahead and should get some rest, but this was all a game already. It had almost become part of their ritual over the last few months. Bo would walk in, smile seductively and crash into Lauren, kissing her so passionately that the doctor's resolve would melt right there and then. On some nights it took longer, as they practically circled each other like two relentless birds of prey, but the outcome was always the same. Lauren would forget all about how tired she was and would allow herself to slip into that comfortable feeling of being loved by Bo, of being entirely hers, body and soul.

And tonight was no different. If anything, Bo was even more impatient, driven by the thrill of the ensuing battle. At a certain point Lauren thought she was going to pass out but the succubus sent a refreshing wave a pleasure coursing through her veins, carrying her on until they both collapsed on the bed, breathing heavily and still holding tight to each other. Lauren cherished these moments so much, that sometimes she felt the sex was just a means to the end goal: lying like this with the woman she loved. The intimacy they shared in these moments was almost like… before this whole war started. Who was she fooling? The change had started well before the war, but these last few months had made it worse.

It was as if Bo was on auto-pilot – she was doing the same things she always did so perfectly, yet it felt like she wasn't actually there for most of the time. Except for when she got angry, which was happening more and more often now. But her anger was no longer fire and rage, it was cold and calculated, which somehow made it a lot more terrifying. Lauren had been at the receiving end of that anger only once and that was one time too many. It happened the last time she had questioned the war and suggested that Bo extend an offer of peace to Trick and Tamsin. The Succubus's eyes flashed blue in an instant – they were staying blue most of the time nowadays, and the doctor dreaded to think what this actually meant: was it her inner nature and human side finally coming to terms? Or her human side finally subsiding?

"Would you rather be with them, Lauren?" Bo spat back, her blue eyes fixed on the doctor. Lauren swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump she started feeling in her throat, taken aback by the response her comment had triggered. "N-n-no," she finally stuttered. "No, Bo! What I meant was…"

"Because I'm sure that can be arranged if you want to join those traitors," Bo interrupted, in the same voice, which sounded almost casual were it not for the underlying coldness that froze Lauren on the spot. The response confused her, as she felt she did nothing wrong, but as she looked into Bo's bright blue eyes she felt that it didn't actually matter. She opened her mouth to speak, to explain herself, but decided against it. Bo watched the doctor intently and smiled satisfied when she realized Lauren was not going to pursue the argument further.

"They're traitors, Lauren," she said in a slightly warmer tone. "As much as it pains me, I cannot forgive them, they were family, I trusted them and they turned against me. Against us!" she raised her voice, and Lauren nodded, while thinking that every word that came out of Bo's mouth, every voice inflection was carefully calculated. Bo smiled again, a genuine look of concern on her face now. "Babe, I know it's hard, it's been hard for all of us. Kenzi is still not over Tamsin up and leaving us after we practically raised her. And Trick… you know I never had anyone else I could actually call my blood except him… But peace is out of the question. I've worked too hard for this to let them screw it all up." She smiled and touched Lauren's shoulder in some sort of gesture of reassurance. "I thought you of all people would understand."

The doctor nodded again. Bo's touch made her feel safe, it always had, but now there was something else there, it was almost like an unspoken threat of sorts. But no, Bo would never… Lauren frowned, feeling guilty for having such thoughts about her lover. Her protector. "I do, Bo. I understand. I'm sorry... it's as you said, still difficult to accept," she sighed. Bo's smile got wider as she pulled the doctor in for a hug. "Just promise me one thing, Bo." She felt Bo's chin on her shoulder as the Succubus nodded in agreement. She took that as a sign to go on: "That when everything is over, you will be merciful." "If they deserve mercy, they will get it," came Bo's reply. "And I'll hear no more of this."

That was a few months back, and since then Lauren had done her best to stay on Bo's good side. The Succubus seemed calmer and didn't lose her temper as often as she used to. Lauren thought this was because Bo had no doubt she would win the war. In the days leading up to the big battle, there were frequent reports about the rebel army facing more desertions and growing weaker. Reports about Trick's injury and Tamsin's despair. Bo was pleased.

"You know, you could maybe… stay the night?" Lauren asked, once she felt enough confidence in her vocal chords to open her mouth. They were still lying in her bed, listening to the soldiers outside the tent as they were preparing for battle.

Bo smiled and wrapped her arms around her. "At your service, doctor." Lauren chuckled and drew herself closer to her lover, wanting to feel her with every inch of her skin. "It's fine, Bo, I know you can't, it's a big day tomorrow and you have to get ready."

The succubus sighed "Well, at least I can stay for a few more hours. There's plenty of time," she said reassuringly. "Now try to get some sleep doctor, it's gonna be a long day for you tomorrow. We need you in tip top shape so you can patch our boys up."

"Aye aye, captain," Lauren raised two fingers in a half-assed salute but her hand stopped moving halfway to her temple and fell on Bo's chest.

Bo placed a light kiss on the doctor's head. "It's gonna be fine, Lauren, you'll see. By this time tomorrow everything will have been sorted out. We'll show these rebels their place once and for all."

Lauren nodded but didn't say anything. Absentmindedly, her left index finger was tracing imaginary circles on Bo's chest. "Enough of that now, babe. Try to get some sleep." Lauren smiled and shut her eyes tight, starting what had become her mantra every night over the past couple of weeks. Other people count sheep to fall asleep, Lauren was making a mental inventory of her medical supplies. Soon enough, she dozed off, but remained in a state of semi-sleep where she was still vaguely aware of what was going on around her. She felt the succubus get out of bed and heard her getting dressed a few hours later but no matter how much she tried, she couldn't tear herself away from that state of semi consciousness to kiss her lover for good luck.

She did get to see Bo briefly as she rushed to the medical tent at the first crack of dawn. She noticed that the troops were already amassed and clamoring with anticipation of the battle. This was all so familiar, she thought – it was like Afghanistan, only like in Braveheart. It sort of took away the seriousness of the situation, the thought crossed her mind but she chased it away quickly, reminding herself that war was no jest, it was a deadly machine, no matter the form.

Bo smiled when she saw her and although she was rushing to the troops, she stopped briefly to give the doctor a big hug. Lauren's breath hitched as she took in how superb Bo was looking in her dark red and black armor suit.

"It's starting, Lauren, I can't stay long. Take care of our boys and if you need anything, come to me right away, okay?

"You're not riding out with the first wave?"

"No, Dyson thinks it's better to wait until his troops clear out the thick of the enemy. Safer, he said. He'll lead the first charge." Lauren nodded. This was one of the few instances when she agreed with the wolf shifter. Anything to keep Bo safe.

"Good," she said. "Look, I've got to go to the medical tent now to check on the nurses and see if they have everything ready, okay? I'll see you soon, babe." "Soon," Bo agreed and hugged her again before strolling away. Lauren watched her going, but Bo never looked back.

The first casualties started arriving an hour after the battle began. Lauren was in full doctor mode and did her job almost automatically, patching and stitching, cauterizing wounds and applying unguents and bandages, giving shots or pain medication to all the injured Fae coming in for a quick patch up job.

Some of them who were only lightly injured were able to return to the front, but most of them were too seriously wounded and in need of prolonged medical care.

Reports from the battlefield varied greatly, but one thing they could all agree on was that they were winning. The Blood King was nowhere to be seen, and the washed up Valkyrie leading the enemy was not going to last much longer, they said. Other soldiers muttered under their breath that the only reason they were winning was because they outnumbered the enemy almost 4 to 1, not because they had better skills than Tamsin's rebels. And they had a lot more berserkers and trolls on their side, which made all the difference in close, hand-to-hand combat.

Bo never came to check on her or the wounded, but Kenzi was around most of the time, offering a helping hand whenever she could, despite her apprehension towards blood and open wounds.

Later in the afternoon, a couple of elves carried Dyson in. He was in pretty bad shape, bleeding profusely from a deep gash on his abdomen. His arms and torso were covered in similar wounds, none of them so deep though. The wolf shifter was mostly passed out, mumbling incoherently about things long gone. Bo rushed in, a look of panic on her face, and grabbed Lauren's arm tightly, making her wince. The look on Bo's face felt like a sharp knife through the heart._ Focus, Dr. Lewis, you've got a patient to save,_ Lauren thought.

"Lauren, what happened? How bad is it? Dyson, stay with us, come on!" Bo practically cried as she noticed the shifter was not responding in any way.

"Bo, I need you to calm down and let us do our job, okay?" Lauren said in the most professional sounding tone she could muster.

The succubus nodded slightly and stared Lauren in the eye. "How bad is it?"

The doctor frowned and rubbed the crease between her eyes, sighing deeply. 'Look Bo, it's pretty bad, I'm not going to lie. But he'll live, and he'll be getting better if you let me get to work right away."

Bo nodded again and let the doctor go before turning her attention to the two elves who had brought Dyson in and who were being patched up by a nurse. "Privates." Both of them stood upright so fast that almost knocked the nurse down.

"Tell me what happened." Her voice was colder than the Antarctic.

The taller of the two cleared his throat, hoping that the pause would nudge his comrade into speaking first. It didn't, and the other elf was staring straight ahead, not a single muscle twitching on his face.

"It was the Valkyrie, ma'am," the taller one eventually gave in. "Ever since the battle began they sought each other, like they did not care about anything else but facing each other on the battlefield. We tried to get her first but she singlehandedly repelled all our attacks. So when they finally met…" the elf's voice trailed off and he took a deep breath before continuing. "It was fierce. He fought bravely, but I guess nobody can hold their own against an enraged Valkyrie on her last life cycle for too long…"

Lauren had her back on the two soldiers, as she was doing her best to stop the bleeding and stabilize Dyson with what she had at her disposal – he really needed proper medical care, in a proper hospital, not in this silly makeshift medical tent. She cringed when she heard the elf's comment about Tamsin, knowing very well how nothing got Bo angrier than hearing how other Fae could possibly be more powerful than her. She expected a harsh retort in that cruel, cold tone she had come to equally fear and loathe over the past months, but nothing happened. She turned her head over briefly and saw Bo frozen in place, lost in thought. The two elves looked positively uncomfortable, not knowing what to expect.

"Hmmm," the succubus finally hummed. "Thank you for your courage, privates. I'll make sure you'll receive a commendation. Now rest," she dismissed them quickly and turned briskly on her heels, heading back to Lauren. "How is he?"

"Not good, Bo. We need to get him to a real hospital and the sooner the better. There's only so much I can do with what I have here."

"Do you think I can help him?"

Lauren knew exactly what Bo meant. She was actually wondering how come it hadn't come up sooner. She knew it and it still hurt like somebody was driving a hot rod through her heart. "I don't know… it might work," she nodded. That was all the confirmation Bo needed. "Great! Come on, let's take him to my tent," she ordered two of the nurses and the soldiers standing guard at the door – her personal bodyguards, following her everywhere she went. Lauren didn't know exactly what they were and she never asked. Whatever they were or weren't, one thing they most definitely were was incredibly dangerous.

She watched helplessly as the guards and nurses picked up the gurney with an unconscious Dyson lying very still and left the tent hurriedly, trying to keep up with Bo. She had left without saying a word.

Rationally speaking, Lauren knew it was ridiculous to be jealous. Yet she was, and it was eating away at her. _Fuck this._ She needed a break. In times like these, she really wished she'd smoked, she thought as she stormed out of the medical tent.


	3. Chapter 3

**My friends, **

**Thanks for sticking with me through hell or high water (okay, okay, I'm exaggerating a bit here, I admit). Thanks for your reviews and follows and to all those who took the time to read this, it means the world to me! **

**Before we move forward, please allow me to explain a few things.**

**1. There is a good reason Bo is healing Dyson through sex instead of breathing some mighty powerful chi down his throat and bam! getting him back on his feet. Sure, she may be looking for an excuse as well, since her usual self is still around there, somewhere, and she wouldn't miss any opportunity of banging the wolf. But there is a specific reason as well.**

**2. I did not want to make Dark Bo so different that she would be unrecognizable. I believe a Dark Bo would not be a lot different than what we know, but that she could inspire fear and terror mixed with awe and even some strange kind of love. It's part of her DNA, after all.**

**3. Lauren. To be entirely honest, I did not like Lauren in the first seasons. The character seemed weak and indecisive and that pissed me off. I think I have truly started to respect and like Lauren during Season 4 (in my opinion, she was the only good thing that emerged from that season). So even if she is still technically a slave of sorts, the Lauren of this story has a rebellious side to her as well. Which I expect will come into play soon.**

**Thanks again, and please read on. I hope you like it!**

XXXXXX

_The snow was red with heroes' blood_

_Yet on they went through bones and mud._

_"__To death," they yelled._

_And death was there, guiding her sword,_

_Her wings spread wide across the fjord,_

_Safe passage for those felled._

_Oh Valkyrie, thy breath is doom_

_Thy eyes shine brighter than the moon_

_In rage and darkness you were forged,_

_A child of light, forever…_

For the life of her, Tamsin couldn't remember how this silly nursery rhyme she'd learned as a kid went on. She couldn't even remember in what lifetime she had learned it exactly – she was pretty sure this was nothing she'd been taught while growing up with Kenzi, it didn't really sound like the sort of thing Snoop Dogg or Marilyn Manson would sing, did it?

Even if it annoyed her greatly that she couldn't recall the whole thing, she hummed it and sang it silently to herself as she was advancing through the enemy lines slashing left and right and fighting back any attack without as much as batting an eye. She had sent her horse back to camp a while ago, to keep her out of harm's way, so she was not moving forward as fast as she would have liked.

She didn't aim to kill the enemy necessarily, just to wound them badly enough to take them out of the battle. She was determined not to let her sisters have too many of them. _Carrion_, she thought, as she looked in disgust at the two Valkyries walking around the battlefield, stepping over the lifeless bodies of all those fallen warriors to collect their souls and take them to Valhalla. And she was not referring to the dead. The women looked at her as if they had heard her thoughts, a look of recognition briefly lighting up their faces. Tamsin looked back and grinned wildly when the two women turned their heads away, obviously realizing all of a sudden that they shouldn't have even looked at her. Remembering who she had been and wasn't anymore. "Yeah, that's right, vultures," she whispered as she turned around swiftly to push back another attack. "Collect your dues and run along to daddy. Stupid bitches."

The enemy was not doing her the same courtesy though. Too many of her soldiers were falling and for what? As the battle raged on, Tamsin became acutely aware that they stood no chance of winning. No matter how many enemies she felled, there were always new ones taking their place.

_The snow was red with heroes' blood…_

Dyson had been unexpectedly easy to take out, she thought. But now that she had hurt the Succubus' pet wolf, she expected Bo to throw her worst at her. Even ride out herself and meet her in battle. That would have made things so much easier… But Bo was nowhere to be seen. Yet Tamsin was right about having to face the worst. Or something that came pretty close, anyway. As she continued her relentless advance at the helm of her troops, Tamsin saw them making their way down the hill, deliberately taking their time and eyeing her intently. "My my, the succubitch did get out the heavy artillery for me, didn't she?" she smirked.

"Time to retreat, guys," she yelled back to her troops. "From here on out I'm on my own." The soldiers looked at her in confusion and started protesting. "That's an order, maggots! GO. BACK. NOW," she hissed, in that unique way she had of hissing a sentence that had absolutely no trace of fricatives.

Satisfied that her men appeared to obey her orders, she turned her attention to the group of monsters heading towards her. Gripping her sword's hilt tightly, she started running to meet them, her majestic wings arched wide behind her. "'To death,' they yelled, and death was there," she shouted at the top of her lungs, noticing the puzzled looks on her challengers' faces. She was not going to just go with them without a fight now, was she?

XXXXXX

"You've gotta be shitting me, doc! Tell me you're shitting me." They were still in Lauren's old lab when she was yet with the Light Fae. She was sitting at her desk, a huge grin on her face, happy about the breakthrough she'd just had. Tamsin was pacing around the room, gesturing enthusiastically and toying around with a beaker.

"Shitting you I am not. All there is to it, scout's honor! And would you put that down?" she almost snapped after the blue-grayish liquid in the beaker came dangerously close to spilling all over Tamsin's hands and on the floor.

"Okay, okay, Master Yoda," Tamsin shrugged and carefully placed the beaker back among its comrades. "Now, walk me through it again, while I bow to your infinite wisdom."

And she did. She lowered her head in what Lauren expected to be just another one of the Valkyrie's trademark mockeries, but strangely enough, this time it was like she really meant it. She had done her best to sound her usual sarcastic self, but there was not even a trace of arrogance in her bow. As she lowered her head, her emerald eyes stayed on the doctor, who couldn't help but notice how serious Tamsin looked all of a sudden. This confused Lauren greatly. She was not ready for kindness in her relationship with the Valkyrie. Hell, she wasn't even sure she was ready for respect – and Tamsin's gesture was definitely one of the two. Or, even worse, it was both.

Smiling uncomfortably, she tried to look away, but then Tamsin spoke. She spoke for a while, in a language unknown to the doctor, yet every word made perfect sense. She talked about loss and second chances, about defeat and purpose, about love and heartache. Lauren wanted to make her stop, but she couldn't even move. All she could do was stand there in front of her and listen, transfixed by the Valkyrie's demeanor. For in that moment she could see Tamsin in all her glory: a magnificent creature of light and darkness, her broad silver wings bearing the history of the whole universe in tiny, unknown markings.

By the time the Valkyrie stopped talking, Lauren's head felt like it was about to explode. "No," she whispered. "I can't." Tamsin smiled. "You can. It is all in your hands now." Lauren opened her mouth to protest – no, she could never do this, why was it all in her hands? She didn't want anything to do with this anyway. But no words came out. Tamsin, still smiling, reached out and touched Lauren's hand, an overwhelming sense of peace and comfort gradually taking hold of the doctor. It felt good and safe, it felt like home when she was a kid and nothing in the world could ever hurt her. The Valkyrie nodded, her smile now closer to her usual shit-eating grin. Still holding the doctor's gaze, she unsheathed her sword and pressed the sharp tip of the blade against her chest. "Go on, don't be afraid," she urged Lauren. The human grabbed the hilt, taking courage from the feeling of the cold metal under her fingers, and started to press the blade harder into the Valkyrie's chest. The sharp sword was moving steadily forward, meeting little resistance, tearing through skin and tissue, bone and blood, and finally plunging through the heart in a swift, unrepentant motion. Tamsin chuckled. "See? Nothing to it," she told Lauren reassuringly. And as they stood there, the Valkyrie began to fade away, and all the light in the room disappeared with her. Lauren, still holding the sword, burst into tears.

It was so sudden that it startled her awake, tears still trickling down her cheeks. What a strange dream, she thought, an immense feeling of sadness overwhelming her as she started remembering the details, the sickening sound made by the sword as she was driving it through Tamsin's chest. _Why on earth would she even dream something like that?_

Half of the dream, up until the Valkyrie had started her strange and unintelligible tirade, had actually happened, she remembered. It was when she had successfully found a way to bond Tamsin and Bo by blood and keep that connection steady and strong long enough to give them a chance to make it to Valhalla and get Kenzi back. Tamsin had indeed bowed her head to show her appreciation back then, but the moment lasted a fleeting second before she had switched back to bitch mode.

Lauren shook her head as if to get rid of the sour taste the dream had left, and then stretched her arms and legs to push away the mild numbness that had begun to settle in during her slumber. She looked around the medical tent and noticed it was quiet. Some of the nurses were moving between the beds, attending to the injured soldiers. There were no cries of pain anymore, which made Lauren give herself a mental pat on the back in congratulations. She had done well today. They all had.

Looking around, she realized she had dozed off while sitting at her desk, probably so tired that she fell asleep before getting herself to lie down on a bed. Kenzi had been more successful though. The Russian girl was sound asleep, curled up on one of the vacant beds. Lauren smiled as she watched her for a few moments, sleeping so peacefully. She envied her for being able to pass out like that, oblivious to everything around her. She wished she had Kenzi's compartmentalization skills and could just shove any unwanted thought or memory deep in a dark recess of her mind and never have to deal with it again. Like that dream she'd just had.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys,**

**First of all, THANK YOU, LOST GIRL, FOR A WONDERFUL RIDE! I hope you'll go out in style.**

**Going back to the matter at hand, sorry in advance if any of you will feel like shooting a hole through a photo of Dyson or something after reading this. I didn't mean to make him such a dick, really, it just sort of came out that way.**

**Seriously now, this was a pretty difficult chapter to write. Probably because everything was so alive in my mind and I had the feeling I wasn't using the best words to describe it the way I see it. Probably because I don't want to see Tamsin hurt. **

**Anyway, our CopDoc girls (who were meant for each other, as characters go, and why can't the show's writers just see this and do something about it?) will finally come face to face in the next chapter. Just so you know. Looking forward to that! **

**What do you think of the story so far? Feel free to speak your mind freely, fellow Faenatics. Your thoughts are, as always, much appreciated.**

**Thanks again!**

* * *

It was late in the afternoon that the wagon rolled into camp, drawn by two huge horses led by a bridge troll. Lauren had stepped out of the medical tent for a mouth of fresh air when she saw it. She realized something important was going on, as the Fae were moving hurriedly away from the wagon's path, leaving it wide open all the way to Bo's tent. Lauren's eyes traced the itinerary, and as her gaze landed on the tent, she saw Dyson getting out, flanked by two large guards. He was just buttoning up his shirt and she cringed as she noticed there was not a single scratch on him anymore. _Of course_, she thought bitterly. A thought crossed her mind briefly, rememorizing the wounds he had sustained. He could have been dead already if his abdomen injury had been even half an inch deeper. It was almost executed with surgical precision, she thought. The realization hit her hard, like an ice bucket dumped over her head. Tamsin had actually done her best not to kill the wolf.

As she inched closer to the gathering crowd she started making out bits and pieces of what they were murmuring, the look on their faces a mixture of fear and admiration. '…three berserkers and two trolls…' 'singlehandedly killed 500 of our own…' 'some sort of blood magic and wiped out an entire…' the stories seem to grow more preposterous as she was making her way through the mass of soldiers and trying to get to Bo's tent..

There was only one Fae who could elicit this sort of response other than Bo, she thought then, and felt her heart sag when she realized what this meant. It meant the end of war, so why wasn't she happy? It meant no more blood spilled and everybody could go back home and live their lives and be happy. Well, maybe not her, of course… _Shit, don't even think that._ But they'd just go home and maybe try for something peaceful and quiet, and maybe, just maybe, they would make it work…

But it also meant that her friend, no, **former friend** was in a pretty bad shape to let herself be dragged in front of Bo like that, in a cage of sorts, paraded in front of her enemies. She was thankful that the wagon didn't have bars though, for she knew how humiliating that would have been for the Valkyrie. Why did she even care? she asked herself. Tamsin deserved it, didn't she? She'd turned against her friends, against Bo? She had it coming, Lauren thought but realized that she only half meant it. It was wrong to think that, and she blamed it on that stupid dream and her stupid subconscious. She would be happy today, she tried to convince herself. Happy for Bo winning.

She couldn't help notice the smirk on Dyson's face when the wagon finally stopped in front of Bo's tent, with a heavy jolt. The shifter and the two guards headed to the back to open the door, and she saw them talking to who was inside, but she wasn't able to hear anything because the crowd's murmuring was getting louder, drowning out anything else. She did see one of the guards wince, as he was grabbing inside the wagon for something, she couldn't quite make out what it was… wait, it looked like a chain, yes, the end of a chain... and the other guard was also reaching in…both of them pulling hard… Whatever was inside was giving them a hard time, but then Dyson joined in and impatiently yanked one of the chains, forcibly pulling what looked like a pile of dirty, bloodied rags out of the wagon. There was someone still inhabiting those rags, Lauren thought in horror as she heard the thumping noise of… that thing falling on the ground. It hardly looked like Tamsin anymore, it was just a bloody mess of dirty hair and clothes, her armor torn and caked in dried mud and blood. It looked like a lifeless form tied up in heavy chains.

The crowd started jeering and yelling, as Dyson reached down and grabbed the Valkyrie by the throat, lifting her easily off the ground. Her body spasmed and her hands shot up to her throat, trying to tear away from the wolf's grip, but the chains prevented her from completing the movement. Dyson growled loudly, continuing to display the Valkyrie like a trophy, and the crowd was ecstatic. Lauren tried to take her eyes away, but she couldn't, it was as if some inexplicable, invisible force was not allowing her to avert her gaze. She felt ashamed for being on this side, part of a crowd that was enjoying this cruel display. She was terrified. And what scared her the most was a monosyllabic chant slowly rising from among the Fae soldiers, growing louder and louder: Death death death death…

She turned away briskly and would have broken into a run if it weren't for the fact that she could barely move through the crowd. Shoving bodies aside and muttering apologies she knew nobody cared about at that moment, she started making her way back to the medical tent. Kenzi would know what to do. She was grateful the Russian hadn't been there to witness the captive's arrival, but if there was anyone able to do something about this mess, that would be Kenzi, Lauren tried to convince herself.

Tamsin watched the doctor go, her white lab coat an easily identifiable point moving hurriedly through the sea of grey armors. She had blocked out the jeers, the pain, Dyson's claws around her throat even. While everybody else was yelling, Lauren's mouth had remained tightly shut, and there was something like a mixture of sadness and embarrassment on her face, Tamsin thought. Good, this was something she could work with. The doctor couldn't tell she was being watched, but the Valkyrie kept her eyes on her, studying every muscle twitch, her struggle not to allow her emotions bubble their way to the surface, until the death chant began and Lauren couldn't take it anymore and fled. Tamsin smiled, but nobody could see it under all that blood.

* * *

"It breaks my heart to see you like this, Tamsin." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm. "Oh, how the mighty Fae has fallen, right?"

The Valkyrie blinked repeatedly, trying to bring Bo into focus from behind her bruised eyelids and the curtain of bloody hair hanging loose in front of her eyes. She saw the Succubus seated behind a massive wooden table, a bowl of fruit and a bottle of wine resting on one side, while a huge map of the battlefield lay right in the middle, chess pieces marking various strategic points. Normally, she would have thought this was all for show, as Bo did not have the first notion of battle tactics, nor the patience for strategy. But this was not hotheaded Bo anymore, this was someone else, someone who had been around long enough to have all the patience in the world.

"Here you are, one of the strongest – nay, perhaps the strongest Fae in existence besides yours truly – battered, bloody and broken. And for what?" Bo went on, taking a sip of wine.

A drop of wine would have been good. Damn, she even would have taken water, anything so long as her throat didn't feel like being put through a grinder in the middle of the Sahara. Every inch of her body hurt like hell and she couldn't even think of what it would be like to try and stand up. Strangely enough, she was grateful to the guards who'd carried her in for dumping her on the floor instead of making her stand.

"Tamsin, let's face it." Bo's voice pulled her away from her thoughts. "You've lost. You're done, there's nowhere to go from here." The Succubus continued looking at the broken Valkyrie, who was intentionally ignoring her and doing her best to study the surroundings without actually having to move her head too much. The guards from earlier were there, at the entrance. A third one, bigger than any Fae she'd ever seen, had joined them and was just standing there, taking up what seemed to be half the space in the tent. He looked dangerous. Slow, but dangerous. Dyson was right behind Bo, a serious look on his face.

"Your excuse of an army is gone, even they left you. I've already sent out word that if they join me they'll be shown leniency, of course. After all, they were just… misguided fools," Bo smirked. Tamsin made an attempt to open her mouth and angrily fought back the searing pain this simple movement had caused. "So tell me…" her voice sounded cracked and faint, more so than she would have liked. With yet another effort to push the pain away, she cleared her throat and continued, in a more confident voice, "you musta watched a lot of Game of Thrones reruns to nail this little scene of yours, amirite?" She even managed to twist her lips into a grin of sorts, feeling some of her usual cockiness returning.

Bo seemed positively amused. A wide smile plastered across her lips, she turned her head briefly to the huge Fae who had joined them earlier. Tamsin didn't even have time to react as the soldier moved so fast all she could do was brace herself for the heavy blow his sturdy boot landed on her stomach. The impact was so strong that it pushed her a few feet behind, still curled up in a ball of blood and pain. _Fuck! Better make that uber-fast and dangerous_, she thought, as she was trying to at least partly pick herself up.

The succubus was still smiling, her blue eyes fixed on Tamsin, in what looked like anticipation for her next move. Fine, she was not going to disappoint. "Oh my goodness!" she gasped feigning shock. "Don't tell me you've actually read the books! Well color me impressed, Your Succuness. They're like thousands of pages, you know, way beyond your pretty head's attention span!" This time it was Dyson who moved swiftly from behind Bo and punched Tamsin in the jaw, growling in anger. The Valkyrie reacted purely on instinct and letting out a guttural roar, she finally got up – she would wonder later what hidden reserve of rage she had tapped into to draw her strength – and allowed her features to sink and darken, determined to make the shifter regret the day he was born. They stood like that, facing each other, for several seconds, neither of them willing to give in.

"ENOUGH," Bo's voice boomed although she hadn't made the slightest effort. "Both of you, back the fuck off right now." Dyson obeyed immediately, lowered his eyes, and took a few steps backwards to where Bo was now standing up. Tamsin's anger could not subside this fast, and she could feel her rage bubbling up and threatening to burst open. "Valkyrie, you know your powers don't work on me. Stop right now or I will have to make you stop," Bo said and she sounded dead serious. And she was right, Tamsin knew. Even if she had been at the top of her game, she had no chance in hell to make Bo submit to her power of doubt. She took in a deep, painful breath and let her face gradually return to normal.

Bo shot Dyson an angry look – his punch was unsanctioned, Tamsin realized. "Get out." The shifter opened his mouth, probably to say how bad an idea this was, but he was quickly interrupted. "Leave us. All of you, now."

An uncomfortable silence settled in after the four men left. Bo continued staring at the door, completely silent and motionless, for several minutes. Looking at the Succubus more closely, Tamsin was surprised to see her features shift slightly into what looked like an expression of absolute exhaustion. Sadness, even. Bo was tired of everything, and she kept this well hidden from everyone.

As if reading her mind, the dark-haired woman again turned her blue eyes to the Valkyrie, not even trying to change her expression. "You done studying me?" Tamsin didn't bother to answer but instead lowered herself down on the ground again, attempting to at least maintain a sitting position. Her knees trembled like jelly and all her muscles were screaming in pain whenever she moved.

Bo stood up, wine glass in hand, and walked over to the Valkyrie who braced herself for another kick or punch. Neither came, she was surprised to discover. Instead, Bo crouched next to her and brought the glass to her lips, urging her to drink. She wouldn't at first, she was not going to break. The Succubus rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Tamsin? If we're even going to try and have a normal conversation, I'd rather you were actually able to speak," she insisted. "No strings attached, as the saying goes," she grinned, to Tamsin's surprise. To be honest, the Valkyrie did not really expect to see anything of the old Bo still alive after all this time, she did not think there was anything left worth saving, yet there it was, right in front of her. How much more of Bo is still in there, she wondered, her mind immediately going into third gear to start working on a new plan of action. She nodded slightly and accepted the drink, without a word.

As she finished, Bo kept looking at her, a sad look on her face. "I think you know just as well as I do that there are only two options going forward." Tamsin held her gaze, but refused to say anything just yet.

"Where is he?"

Tamsin shrugged. "Have no clue where your grandpa hangs out."

Bo chose to ignore the jab. "You know, there's been something bothering me all these years… Why did you leave, Tamsin? You could have had everything." She rose and started pacing slowly around the room, lost in thought. Tamsin was still silent. "You and I, we could have had everything. Together."

"Dude, do I fucking look like Hillary Goddamn Rodham Clinton to you?" the Valkyrie finally snapped. "You and me, together? Like you needed an extra wheel to your stupid geometrically shaped love life. And for what, Bo? To lead the Fae together – the formerly Unaligned Succubus and the fucked up Valkyrie – the Fae's new frigging power couple doing what, exactly?"

"Keeping the damn Fae on a leash and preventing them from offing each other and preying on humans, is what! That's a pretty good reason, wouldn't you say?" Bo shot back.

"And how's that working out for you, Bo?" Tamsin smirked. "Not so good, I imagine, seeing how I'm still alive and you're still trying to sell me on your little pacification project there," she scrunched her nose in defiance.

Bo sighed. "I'm asking you again: Where is he, Tamsin?"

"I don't know."

"You know I need both of you dealt with to end this thing." The Valkyrie nodded. She would have done the same if the roles had been reversed.

"Look, I really can't help you, I don't know where he went. I specifically asked him not to tell me where he'd go. We needed another ace up our sleeves, and another chance in case this battle went south. Which it obviously did"

Bo nodded. Tamsin watched the Succubus's expression change once again, any trace of exhaustion entirely gone and replaced by a wide smile. "All righty then. Then this leaves us with only one course of action, it seems."

"Yep," Tamsin agreed.

Bo continued staring at her for a few moments, still smiling. She nodded in agreement, then rose and headed to the table, her back on Tamsin.

"Tonight we celebrate your defeat. Tomorrow we break camp and head back to the city. Three weeks from now you will stand trial before the High Council and be found guilty of treason. Depending on how you choose to collaborate with the panel, we will determine the most suitable method of execution." Her voice was cold and even, as if she was reciting or reading from a book. "Is that clear?"

"As clear as fucking daylight, darling," Tamsin retorted, grinning madly like the Cheshire Cat.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi everyone,**

**Just wanted to tell you all that you're the best. Just to put it out there, you know. You know who you are. You guys are seriously the best, and thank you for that! I'm honored to have such a crowd.**

**New chapter here, longer than the others. Hope you enjoy. And please let me know what you think, I look forward to reading your feedback and comments!**

* * *

Kenzi was pacing back and forth around the doctor, gesturing frantically and muttering something in both Russian and English, occasionally letting out a louder curse or rhetorical question in one of the two languages or in both in quick succession. Lauren, still seated at her desk in the medical tent, was rubbing her temples trying to get rid of a terrible headache and think clearly for a second. All those months she'd spent with Kenzi, she had picked up some basic notions of Russian and as she was trying to make out some of the words the dark haired girl was muttering, she realized that she was actually rehearsing her imminent conversation with Bo, to try and convince her to go easy on Tamsin.

Lauren really hoped Kenzi would be successful. They had talked briefly about it and came to conclusion that no matter what Tamsin had done, she was still Momma Kenzi's little T, and they had to do something to help her out. The doctor had left out the gory details when telling Kenzi about how the Valkyrie had been brought to camp, she knew that if the Russian learned the truth she would do something rash and probably make things worse. She had barely been able to stop Kenzi from storming out of the medical tent to see Tamsin right away.

"She'll never swear loyalty," Kenzi mused. "Blondie's just way too stubborn for that." Lauren agreed, but hoped the Valkyrie would have more sense than just tell Bo to go fuck herself. She was surprised she cared that much, really. She told herself that it was because of her humanitarian side opposing cruel punishments on principle; she was a doctor, after all. She told herself that Bo would gain more from sparing Tamsin and allowing the Fae to see she could be merciful and forgiving, even when it came to her biggest enemy, but who was she kidding – the Fae way had no room for mercy. She even told herself that if Tamsin would be executed, there would really be no turning back for any of them – it was a silly notion both she and Kenzi entertained, that while all of them were still alive they would eventually be able to find their way back to what it was like before everything went to shit.

It was for each and all of these reasons that Lauren wanted Tamsin to live. But deep down inside, she knew that it was more than that. Ever since she'd had that dream earlier in the day there had been something troubling her, an unidentifiable feeling of urgency, a sense of restlessness she did not normally have. She knew enough about obsession to realize that this pull she was feeling would not weaken if ignored; if anything it would grow stronger and take over, and she would eventually have to act on it and do something very, very stupid. So she had to try to figure it out now before it was too late. Better start with the stupid and get it over with, she decided. She had to see Tamsin.

Right when she had made up her mind, Kenzi stopped abruptly and slammed both her hands on the table, taking in a deep breath. "Ready, doc. Or as ready as I'm ever gonna be. C'mon, get your pretty ass up and let's go work your magic on the Succuqueen!" Lauren rolled her eyes. "Really, Kenz?" she acted offended but got up nonetheless. As they got out of the tent and made their way to the center of the camp, they noticed the celebration had already begun. Groups of Fae soldiers were going about, talking excitedly, eating, drinking and some of them even dancing in honor of Bo and the end of the war. She didn't know how, but Kenzi had magically procured two cups of alcohol and had handed one to her. The Russian drank it in one gulp. "What? It's for good luck," she explained, noticing Lauren's worried look. "You ought to do the same, skinny bum. Lord knows you gonna need it." She didn't wait to be asked twice and downed the drink, relishing in the burning feeling it left as it glided down her throat. "Whoa, easy doc, there's only room for one alcoholic in this relationship," Kenzi smiled.

They found Bo seated at a large table laid right in front of her tent. Her trusted guards still behind her, but looking slightly more relaxed than usual, Lauren noticed. Her eyes searched for Dyson, but he didn't seem to be around. She also noticed the blank expression on Bo's face, as if she wasn't actually there, even if she was smiling and nodding affably to the occasional Fae troop commander approaching her to express their congratulations.

Her eyes finally landed on Lauren and Kenzi, and she smiled, looking relieved. "Oh, there you are! Come on, join me, please," she called out to them, her smile brighter and her eyes their normal shade of brown, Lauren was surprised to see. They sat down on each side of the Succubus and toasted to the end of the war. The wine was sweet and strong, and Lauren felt it rush to her stomach as soon as she took the first sip.

"So, Bo-Bo," Kenzi started, taking a deep breath. The Succubus turned her head to face the small Russian and smiled. _Somebody was in a good mood this evening._

"I heard about Tamsin." One of Bo's eyebrows shot upwards, in anticipation to see where this was going. Kenzi swallowed hard and went on. "Look, I know the two of you haven't always seen eye to eye… okay, like never… but I'm sure she didn't actually mean any harm, Bo. I mean, there's gotta be a way to make this right!" Kenzi pleaded, hoping for a sign from the Succubus, who was just watching her without a word. "Right?" she tried again. "Let me go see her, I'm sure I can get her to… agree to anything she's supposed to agree to torture-free, being her momz and all," Kenzi almost begged.

"I'd rather you didn't Kenz," Bo finally spoke and her eyes flashed blue once again. "Maybe tomorrow, maybe never. But right now, tonight, I need you here by my side." She paused briefly, noticing the Russian cower under her gaze.

"To put your mind at ease, however, Lauren can check in on her or send a nurse to attend to her wounds. I'm sure that can be easily arranged," Bo added. "Wounds?" Kenzi asked, feeling scared, but Lauren interrupted.

"I can do it, that's fine. My nurses worked very hard today, they deserve the time off," she said, trying not to sound too eager. After all she had been trying to come up with a good excuse to go see Tamsin and the opportunity now presented itself courtesy of Bo.

The succubus studied her a few seconds, as if trying to figure out whether there was a hidden meaning behind her words, then nodded and turned her head to Kenzi. "Very well. See, Kenz, now there really isn't anything to worry about if our good doctor here will go check on your baby." Once again, she sounded so cold that Kenzi didn't dare to take this further. She just smiled and nodded in what was supposed to be a show of gratitude.

Lauren politely excused herself and headed back to the medical tent to get some supplies and some clean clothes. Judging by what she'd seen earlier, Tamsin was definitely going to need them.

* * *

The Valkyrie couldn't even make it to the mattress, she had collapsed on the cold, metal floor of the cage as soon as she was shoved inside. She wanted to ask the guard to at least remove the chains, which were getting heavier and harder to wear by the minute, but she couldn't find the strength to utter any words. The meeting with Bo had robbed her of the last ounce of energy and now she was feeling every cut and strain, every bruise like it was ten times worse. She realized she was breathing heavily, and the wheezing sound she heard every time she exhaled worried her a little – she was pretty sure one of her lungs was busted. Lying face down on the floor, her brain registered how the blood was pooling around her - she had probably tore open one of most serious wounds again - and she thought how this would totally ruin her armor… Oh wait, it was already ruined…

She allowed herself to slip into unconsciousness. A quick nap and she'd be back on her feet. Just five minutes, no more, and she'd feel better… As she passed out, she felt at peace to find herself surrounded by darkness and nothingness. She savored the feeling, and didn't know how much it lasted when the sound of a voice pulled her back and jolted her awake.

"You've let her fall asleep? Don't you know how dangerous this is if she sustained severe head trauma? She could die! Let me in right now!" Tamsin couldn't help but smile when she identified the voice.

"But, Dr. Lewis, we were told to stay as far away from her as possible…" the guard tried to explain. "And why should I care what happens to her anyway?"

"Gee, I don't know. Maybe because she's a very valuable prisoner and Bo would have your head on a spike if anything happened to her on your watch?"

Tamsin couldn't see the two, but she could imagine the look on the guard's face just now. She heard the door lock popping open. The doctor had obviously won the argument.

"Just get out." Wow, the doc seemed to have really grown a pair since she'd last seen her, Tamsin thought. "Leave us, I have to attend to her wounds." Lauren's voice was closer now, she had definitely walked into the cage.

"Sorry, Dr. Lewis, can't do that. She's dangerous, imagine what would happen if she escaped. It took 4 berserkers and 3 trolls to take her down…"

"Actually, it was 6 berserkers and 6 trolls, but who's counting," Tamsin interrupted, in what she hoped sounded like her normal cocky voice. She also managed to move a little and turn her head to the door. Lauren turned quickly towards her, a look of relief on her face. "Good, you're awake," she said, reaching out right away to check her vitals. "Help me get her up," she urged the guard. "Come on, don't you stand there," she practically shouted as she noticed he was reluctant to go in. The man eventually gave in and helped Lauren carry the Valkyrie to the mattress. Tamsin kept silent all this while, but realized she had a stupid grin on her face as she was watching Lauren taking charge.

Satisfied, the doctor moved to her medical bag and started taking out bandages, a forceps, sewing thread and a couple of small bottles with unknown concoctions. Tamsin didn't know if she should be worried or not about the display. "Take off the chains and then you're free to leave us," Lauren told the guard while going through her kit.

"No. Dr. Lewis, this is out of the question."

Lauren stopped rifling through the bag and shot the man a cold stare. "Look, private. I know you've got your orders. But I know my job. I have to clean her wounds and I can't do that with her chained up. It's gonna be brutal and it's gonna be painful. I'm sure you can understand how nobody would want an audience when they have to go through something like that, can't you?" The man nodded slightly, starting to break. "Besides, look at her, do you really think she'd try anything? She couldn't hurt me even if she tried."

The soldier finally agreed and complied with Lauren's request. While she was still lining up the supplies she needed, he took the chains off Tamsin and walked out of the cage and the tent. "I'll be right outside, yell if you need anything," he said, giving both women a suspicious look.

"Will do!" Lauren said, feeling nauseous at how chirpy she had sounded.

"He's right, you know…That I'm dangerous. I could take you…" she paused to catch her breath and once again try to push the pain away, as far away as possible. "Take you… hostage and make my way out of here… Use my powers on you…"

"You wouldn't."

She raised an eyebrow as she noticed Lauren coming closer with a syringe that had a very long needle. "Wouldn't I now?"

"Fine," Lauren conceded. "You would but you couldn't. I developed a serum," she explained matter-of-factly.

"Of course you did." Tamsin was feeling proud. "And what's in there anyway, doc?"

"Something to help with the pain. But we'll need to take that armor off first."

"Jeez, doc. I bet you…" another pause for breath, and Tamsin cursed herself for her damn lungs ruining one of her epic one-liners. "Bet you say that to all the girls," she finished with a smirk. Lauren rolled her eyes and scoffed, and as she knelt down next to the mattress to help the Valkyrie remove her armor, she found herself thinking how easy this was. How easy it was to slip back into their usual bantering and teasing, which was what their relationship had been largely based on before everything changed. It was as if Tamsin was never gone and they were just picking up where they had left off. In all honesty, Lauren did not expect that at all. She was expecting tension, animosity even. She was expecting the Valkyrie to be angry and upset and make her feel guilty. _And I am._ _Guilty for staying_. _Guilty for wishing I'd left._ She looked at Tamsin, who had a strangely calm smile on her face. Why did everything have to be so complicated?

"You'll have to teach me how to take this thing off," she said after scanning the armor briefly and not being able to find any seams or laces or even the slightest indication of how to remove the thing. Tamsin moved her head slightly to express her approval. "If you'll reach to the back…there are two clips under the shoulder blades…" Lauren leaned over and started feeling the back of the armor as Tamsin had indicated. Soon enough she found the clips, although they were so well hidden that they seemed to be part of the intricate design of the armor. They were right under two large slits in the backplate, which she realized were there to allow the Valkyrie's wings to come out unhindered.

"Now press them," Tamsin added and nodded as Lauren did as she was asked and the clips sprang open. "Got a couple… more on the sides. And the arm plates…" Her breath stopped as she felt Lauren's gentle fingers slowly pulling the breastplate off her.

Acting like she hadn't noticed, the doctor removed all the pieces or armor and lifted Tamsin's shirt to find the source of bleeding: a ghastly looking stab wound on the right side of her abdomen. It wasn't thin enough to have been made by sword, so Lauren concluded it must have been caused by something similar to a spear. It had gone right through the Valkyrie and it must have hurt like hell when it was pulled out, the doctor thought.

"Doc, you know falling asleep wouldn't actually kill me, even if I had a concussion, right?" Tamsin grinned. "I'd like to think it would take a lot more than that to get rid of me."

"Yeah, well, I do, but he didn't need to know that," Lauren whispered and gave a conspiratorial smile.

"Like how you're thinking," Tamsin grinned.

There were several other serious wounds on the blonde Fae's body, Lauren noted, many of them so severe that they would have killed a human being ten times over. But you never know with the Fae; that was one of the first lessons she had learned since she had started working with them – a lesson hard learned and never forgotten. Even now, as she was looking at the Valkyrie's bruised and battered body, she was wondering how come the woman was still alive, how come she was still speaking.

"I've had worse, doc," the Valkyrie whispered as if she had heard her thoughts. "I'm just… pissed those fuckheads ruined my armor…" she sighed. "Know how old that thing was?"

"Quite old, I imagine," Lauren muttered absent-mindedly "Damn right," Tamsin approved. She hadn't expected this to be so easy either. After her rebirth, and after getting Kezi back, Lauren had been the only person besides the Russian who made her feel safe enough to allow her more childish side come out so often. Lauren actually had a more maternal attitude, as she insisted on keeping up appearances and acting like a grown up, and perhaps this was one of the main reasons why Tamsin never even dared to hope their relationship could grow into something else. Which was pretty silly, she thought now, as she studied the doctor's clean cut features and intense eyes. She was almost older than time and acting like a teenager, for crying out loud.

"You're gonna need stitches. A lot of them, so a mild anesthetic is in order," the doctor said, breaking her reverie, and picked up the syringe again. "I'm going to count to 3, okay?" The Valkyrie nodded and braced herself. "One, two…" And the three never came as the needle plunged deep into Tamsin's abdomen and Lauren pushed the substance inside quickly.

"Ow! Seriously, Lauren?"

"Sorry but no time to wait, you've lost a lot of blood already."

"Admit it, you've always wanted to do that."

The doctor didn't answer, she just moved swiftly for the gauze and poured a lot of disinfectant over the injured area from one of the small bottles she had taken out earlier. She knew infection was actually a very distant possibility with most Fae, especially one with Tamsin's biology, but she didn't want to take any chances. Also, it was these small gestures so common in human medicine that made her feel still normal somehow, so she stubbornly clung onto each and every last one of them no matter how crazy or useless they were. Finally, after she cleaned the area thoroughly and was fully satisfied with the results, she started stitching. She knew that even despite the anesthetic, this had to hurt more than anything she had ever experienced. And Tamsin didn't even flinch. She never had. The signs that she was in excruciating pain were there, Lauren had come to know them during the months they'd been around each other more. A furrowed brow, a tiny quiver in her upper lip, a tightened fist. But never a cry, not even a gasp, no matter how terrible the wound. And despite the Valkyrie's bravado, Lauren was sure she had never seen her with more serious injuries than the ones she was trying to heal now.

Tamsin kept her eyes on the doctor at work for a long while before speaking again. "Got a strong feeling of déjà vu here, doc. How many times you've patched me up already? It's like no matter what we do, we end up like this."

"Are you calling me predictable and boring?"

"Well, not if I can help it," Tamsin replied smugly.

Lauren rolled her eyes and cursed herself for keeping up the pretense. She was pretty sure the Valkyrie was waiting for her to speak first, but she didn't know if this was to allow her to set her own terms or because the Fae wanted to make her feel bad. Not that she didn't deserve it. The thought startled her. It was wrong to think that. She had picked a side already, a long time ago, and if there was one thing Lauren was without any doubts, that was fiercely loyal.

For the second time that evening, Tamsin acted as if she had read her mind. She had sensed the struggle, the conflict consuming Lauren, and decided to speak out before the doctor would be too scared to do so. "How have you two been holding up? How's Kenzi?" The question hurt more than Tamsin had imagined – it was painful to both her and the doctor, but just like a Band-Aid, it had to be ripped and got out of the way before moving forward. She knew how bad she had hurt them when she left without even saying goodbye. And now it didn't even matter how much they'd hurt her when they refused to even consider that she might have been right about Bo.

"She's fine… all things considered…" Tamsin shot her an inquisitive look. "I mean the war and everything…" Lauren clarified. "She's with Bo now, pleading on your behalf." The doctor paused and stared at the Valkyrie, carefully weighing her next words.

"I'm not sure you realize how hard this was for all of us, Tamsin. When you left, we were dumbfounded. Bo was mad, Kenzi was on the brink of a nervous breakdown again, and I… I had to pick up the pieces, in a way. And then Trick left and I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't be that shoulder everybody would cry on…" Lauren was shocked by the words coming out of her mouth, actually. She hadn't intended this to be a heart-to-heart. But she couldn't stop now. Tamsin was watching her silently, waiting for her to go on. "I broke down. And I hated you for it. Trick too. You didn't have to watch things change every step of the way, so slow at times that it would drive you crazy. Maybe it would have been better if it had happened overnight. Less time to plan, more time to react…" her voice broke down when she realized what she had just said. Tamsin knew very well what the doctor was talking about. She had her regrets – she was the master of guilt after all, but if she hadn't left when she did, she would probably have been where Lauren and Kenzi were now, and with no one crazy enough to challenge the Succubus's authority. But if she hadn't left, she'd still have a place among the people she loved. Even if they didn't love her back.

She wanted to say something, to explain herself, to say she was sorry, but she didn't get a chance to, as Lauren started talking again, while putting the finishing touches on her stitching job. "Anyway, it's over now. Kenzi's talking to Bo, and you know her," Lauren grinned, "she won't stop till she gets Bo to show mercy and spare you. You'll live, Tamsin. You'll be all right."

Tamsin knew that she wouldn't, but she did not say anything about that. She was determined to let Lauren have her moment, yet the last words she had spoken had angered her beyond the point she could control herself. _There goes nothing…_

"Doc, I swear, for someone who's supposed to be so smart, sometimes you say the dumbest things."

"Excuse me?" Lauren's eyebrows shot upward. If this was supposed to be a joke, she wasn't laughing.

"You say it was hard for you. And I'm not contesting that, I really ain't. But guess what? It was hard for me too. Did you even, for a second, stop to consider what it was like for me? Boo-hoo, how the little humans suffered. Why didn't you leave, huh? If not with me, with Trick? You could have taken Kenzi and run away, as far away as possible." Wow, she had managed this whole little speech without once pausing for breath.

"And where was I gonna go, Tamsin? Like the Fae were just going to let us leave? You know this is not how things work with your kind," she spat back angrily. "Where were we going to go?"

"Oh, don't give me that crap. You could have come find me anytime. I would have protected you. Hell, I would have dropped everything to keep you guys safe, even this bloody stupid war! Bo can rule all the fucking Fae in the universe for all I care. Anything as long as you'd be safe!" The doctor was shell-shocked. When Tamsin started insulting her, she was furious, but not surprised; she had been waiting for all that anger to burst out eventually. But the Valkyrie's comment had caught her off guard, and she realized she had never heard the woman admit to caring so much, and doing it so freely like it was the most natural thing in the world. All of this after having worked so hard to turn her 'don't-give-a-shit-about-anyone' policy into a shiny badge of honor.

Tamsin registered Lauren's response and softened her tone. "You're fooling yourself, Lauren… It was your choice to stay, your choice to stay here and let Bo fuck you senseless, apparently still with a little wolf junk on the side," she said bitterly.

The doctor felt the blood drain from her face, and tears started swelling up in her eyes, but she looked up and held Tamsin's gaze defiantly. She would be better than this. "I'd appreciate it if you stopped talking about things that don't concern you," she said calmly, while continuing to clean the Valkyrie's wounds as if nothing had happened. Some of the cuts were already beginning to close, she noticed with that scientific part of her brain that always came to the forefront when she felt her emotions getting the best of her.

The Valkyrie didn't respond immediately. "Wow, doc. You really did let her break you, didn't you?" she said eventually, in such a low voice that it was almost a whisper. "A while ago you slapped me for a whole lot less than this."

And she was right, Lauren knew, but she couldn't bring herself to openly admit it. "We're seriously going to do this now?" she asked, trying to steer the conversation away from the uncomfortable topic. "With me practically holding your life in my hands here?" _A tad too dramatic, maybe…_

"Yeah?" Tamsin scoffed. "Well, do your best, doc. I'm sure there'd be nothing to it, seeing how I'm as good as dead anyway."

_Nothing to it, nothing to it… _the words rang through Lauren's head, reminding her of the dream, and she allowed that feeling of safety and calmness she had experienced wash over her. She quickly fought it off, though, because it was wrong. It was wrong of her to come here, she decided abruptly. She should have sent one of the nurses.

All of a sudden, she wanted nothing more than just get out and as far away as possible from everybody. Tamsin felt the shift in Lauren's attitude, she sensed how agitated the human doctor was becoming and acted immediately. She moved her hand gently over Lauren's and held it there, despite the doctor's immediate reaction to pull back. "I'm sorry I hurt you. And Kenz. I'm sorry I was such a bitch just now, I didn't mean to." Lauren again tried to move her hand, but Tamsin wouldn't let it go.

"It's fine, don't worry about it," she said, but Tamsin knew it wasn't. "It was a normal response to your… current situation," Lauren went on when the Valkyrie didn't reply. "Anyway, I'm done cleaning most of the wounds. I've bandaged the large one on your side, please make sure you don't move too much so you don't tear the stitches, and I'll check up on you again in the morning," she said, finally removing her hand from the Valkyrie's soft grip. Tamsin studied the doctor's handiwork and nodded approvingly. "Thanks."

"Oh and before I forget, I brought you some clean clothes," Lauren said as she reached inside her bag and pulled out a pair of green scrubs. "It was the best I could do on such a short notice," she apologized, noticing the look on Tamsin's face. "Want me to help you get changed?"

"No, doc, it's fine. I feel better so I'll do it, just leave'm there. Thanks for everything."

"Don't mention it." She tossed her supplies back in the bag and moved to the door of the cage. "Well, I guess that's all for tonight, I'll let you get some rest now, you definitely need it."

"Actually, doc, there's one more thing, if you can." Lauren turned her head back and noticed the Valkyrie was half sitting already. "Oh?" "Kenzi. Please don't let the half-pint visit me yet. I don't want her seeing me like… this. Give me a couple of days to heal," she almost begged. The look on her face broke Lauren's heart a little; as she was staying there on the dirty mattress, her clothes torn and bloodied, her whole body covered in bruises and cuts, Tamsin looked as helpless as a dying animal. "Sure," she nodded, and walked out of the cage. The guard was back inside the tent as soon as he heard the metal door creaking open and moved swiftly to place a large padlock on it. A second lock and a heavy chain were added for extra security.

Lauren had watched the man intently, apparently to make sure the prisoner was properly contained, then shot Tamsin a brief look through the bars and moved to the exit. The Valkyrie followed her with her eyes and once the doctor was out of her sight, she let out a deep sigh. This was not going to be easy. She felt like she needed a crash course in human psychology. In Lauren's psychology to be more exact. _Lesson #1: How to mend a broken doctor._


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry it took me ages, but here it is, finally. Chapter 6, in which I attempt to lay the groundwork for future developments. And build some personal Valkyrie-related myths in the process. I look forward to seeing what you guys think.**

**Thanks again for all the comments, reviews and favorites. Your support is overwhelming.**

**The usual disclaimer applies: I don't own Lost Girl or any of these characters.**

* * *

Nobody knows how Valkyries are reborn exactly. It's one of the best guarded mysteries in Fae history, and even the oldest, most knowledgeable members of this supernatural society would not be able to give a clear answer. At best, they'd be able to present two hypotheses, neither of them backed by actual proof, but at least given some sort of legitimacy by their age. If nobody knew how long they'd been around, there had to be some truth about them, right?

Theories abounded, though. Tamsin didn't think this whole rebirth thing was such a big deal to the other Fae until she discovered that every century or so, a new theory popped out, claiming to be the one true explanation to the mystery, the only one you'd ever need to unlock the secrecy shrouding one of the world's oldest and most venerable Fae species. _They always forget mentioning 'almost extinct…'_ Tamsin thought to herself.

She was lying on her back on the mattress after having successfully changed into the hospital scrubs Lauren had brought her. She felt ridiculous in the outfit. "Get Dr. Carter down here, I need 5 CCs of epi to the heart, stat!" she had tried cracking a joke but the guard just shot her a confused look and tightened the grip on his handgun. "No, nothing?" she finally asked. "Oh, man, how can you NOT have watched ER?!" she scoffed, while the soldier was doing his best to ignore her. He too had probably been told not to engage with her or go anywhere near the cage. This new guard was dressed in modern camouflage clothes and was armed to the teeth with what looked like state-of-the-art, equally modern weaponry. The Valkyrie was relieved to see they'd given up the medieval costumes – that was seriously one time in history that she did not want to revisit. Like, never. Just like the previous guard, he was wearing some sort of modified contacts – most likely specifically designed to deflect her abilities if she tried using them. She had seen several high-ranking officers in Bo's army wear these, and she made a mental note of asking Lauren about them; the doctor definitely had something to do with the design.

Seeing that the guard had no intention of indulging her and making conversation, the Valkyrie just went back to the mattress and managed to lie down, although her every bone and muscle was protesting the effort. She hoped she'd be able to get some sleep but instead found herself thinking about Valkyries and their rebirth.

Some theories suggested that Valkyries were reborn out of light – that whenever they would die, a blinding ball of light that came out of nowhere would consume their corpse and remold it into a toddler. A living baby born of ashes. Which sounded so heroic that Tamsin was practically gagging whenever she thought of the possibility.

Other scholars had hypothesized that Odin himself would descend upon a Valkyrie's dying place and breathe new life and vigor into that battered body so she could continue her mission and serve her creator. The theory had its merits, but it failed to explain A) how come the Valkyries were not coming back as adults, but as babies and B) why they had a fixed number of life cycles. After all, the one-eyed old fool could just snap his fingers and allow them to go on forever. It would have been more… sanitary and efficient, Tamsin thought. Why bother going through the whole rebirth thing if you'd be back to square one every goddamn time, and apparently with no lesson to learn. It didn't make sense.

One of Tamsin's personal favorites was the one attributing the rebirth to Odin's ravens rather than to the great Norse god himself. The ravens were thought to descend to Midgard on the tail of a comet, picking all sorts of cosmic elements along the way, to remold the fallen Valkyrie. Tamsin had always felt close to Huggin and Munnin, who were incredibly smart and great conversationalists, but they had absolutely nothing to do with the process – let alone even try to put back together the body of a reborn Valkyrie using nothing but stardust and dark matter.

The truth, in fact, was far from being so glamorous. A small trace of it could be found in each and every one of the most popular theories, if you knew where to look, but the rebirth process was nothing like those romanticized stories and myths that the whole Fae culture was so crazy about. If it wasn't in a book twice the size of a detailed compendium of British monarchs and their close and distant relatives, then it wasn't worth knowing.

Tamsin could now remember each of her rebirths with astounding clarity. That hadn't always been the case, as the whole process was so confusing and messy that only bits and pieces were left, especially after being filtered through the eyes of a newborn who had the dormant mind of an ancient creature. But now that this was her last lifecycle she found herself remembering things she had thought long forgotten, and she could remember them in such vivid, clear detail as if they had happened yesterday.

This last time, she had been lucky that Dyson found her. She hadn't always been that lucky in the past. She had come back to nothing and no one to look after her too many times to keep count. Coming back as a newborn, there wasn't much she could do than cry and yell at the top of her lungs until she'd pass out. She would wake up a little older, still yelling and crying, but also hungry, naked and cold, and more confused than ever. Gradually, she would be able to move around a bit, her survival instincts kicking in and practically forcing her to look for food and shelter. There wasn't much of either on a battlefield, which was where Tamsin had died more deaths than she liked to admit. Eventually she would cuddle next to the body of a fallen soldier, most likely a soldier she herself had killed before being taken out by a lucky shot, and she would cry herself to sleep again, gnawing on the only edible thing she could generally find in the vicinity – a bone with a few strips of flesh still on it. She never knew if it came from a horse or a human or other animal that had fallen in battle. She didn't want to know, but as soon as she was old enough to speak she would refuse to ever swallow any kind of meat ever again.

The memories were coming back in bits and pieces, fortunately. If they had come back all at once she would have had an aneurysm within 48 hours of her rebirth every time and burned through all of her life cycles like a bloody mayfly. By the time her body fully matured she would remember most of it. But not like now. Even several years after the rebirth, she was still remembering. Sometimes the memories came back so violently that she almost passed out. She could now confidently map out almost her entire existence to date, in a non-linear sequence but still.

However, no matter how hard she thought, there was one spot her mind could not penetrate. It felt like a void of sorts yet a full one, as strange as it might sound. She sensed its presence, but no matter how she tried to approach it, she was never quite able to grasp it. Almost like it had been put under lock and key. She pondered what it was for a while, she even went to see doctors, witches and a Fae shaman for help. The shaman gave her a strange potion to drink that tasted like crap, chanted an incantation but then freaked out all of a sudden and practically kicked her out of his house. He begged her to never come anywhere near him again. She was too surprised to protest at first, and when she went back for explanations the next day, there was no trace of the man and his family, all 40 of them, left anywhere. That was the last time she asked for help or tried to look into that hidden corner of her mind. Some things are better left asleep. And if someone had gone through so much trouble to put whatever that thing was away and bury it so deep inside her mind, they must have had a damn good reason, the Valkyrie reasoned. She didn't spend too much time thinking about it after that.

Her mind drifted to how she had come to be in this situation. In all honesty, Tamsin hadn't set out planning to be taken prisoner – her initial plan was quite simple and straightforward: go to war, fight, get to Bo and kill her or die trying. But Bo wasn't on the battlefield. Her lapdog was, so she did her best to hurt him badly enough that the succubus would show up eventually and seek revenge. That didn't work, and her soldiers were dying in high numbers, so she was left with only one choice. Embark on what was most likely going to be the most stupid, desperate kamikaze mission in Fae history and allow herself to be captured, beaten, broken and humiliated, in hope that somewhere along the way she'd get close enough to Bo to take her out. Or die trying.

So yes, there was a pattern there. No matter what path she'd choose, it would inevitably end up with her dead. For good this time. That was actually the biggest ace up her sleeve if all else went to shit. Just like the rebirth process, the final death of a Valkyrie was shrouded in mystery. The fact that the very few people who had witnessed such a singular event had not survived to tell the story only made the secret more inaccessible. When their time came, most Valkyries simply disappeared from existence, everybody knew that. What was less common knowledge was that they retreated someplace remote and without a living soul anywhere around them for miles, not necessarily because they wanted to keep the nature of their demise a secret, but because they didn't want any innocent bystander to get hurt.

And hurt was an understatement here, Tamsin thought. A Valkyrie's last death was hard to put into words. She had witnessed the event only a handful of times in all the thousands of years she'd been around, and the closest term of comparison she could think of was 'like Hiroshima, only with less smoke and screaming.' That's because nobody had time to scream. It had the same magnitude as a nuclear disaster only that it looked more like a gigantic implosion that sucked the sound and life out of everything and everyone on a few mile radius. It was as silent, sudden and inescapable as death in space.

So when she'd been dragged in front of Bo, Tamsin was quite at peace with herself and her decision. She had to get Lauren and Kenzi out first, and seeing the doctor's reaction to her public humiliation at the hands of the wolf shifter was exactly what she was hoping for: that the human would still care, that she would still have her annoying common sense to tell her that was wrong, despite what everybody else seemed to think. Once the humans would get out of harm's way, she would do her best to kill Bo, and if she would survive the attempt, Tamsin wouldn't complain. If not, she'd just let them kill her and her death would take the succubus with her. Along with the rest of her stupid puppet council.

Well, that until she realized there was still something there of the old Bo that was worth saving. No matter what she'd gone through, there was still some part of the real Bo hanging tight, waiting for the first chance to break out, to reclaim herself. And Tamsin had to try, she owed it to Bo and Lauren and Kenzi. She owed it to herself. She was pretty sure the bond they had, which was still there, although weak and hanging by a single thread, could be used to bring back that part of Bo and exorcise the Valhalla out of her friend, along with anything else that had hitched a ride to the real world on her back. The doctor would know what to do, for sure.

Tamsin wasn't delusional. Even if this new plan was successful, that wouldn't mean everybody would live happily ever after. She was certain she would die anyway, and that was all right, her death would mean something this time. It would bring Bo and everything else back to normal.

The only problem putting a rather major dent in her plans was that right now, after seeing Lauren again – the wonderful, impossibly beautiful, impossibly stubborn Lauren -, Tamsin really didn't want to die anymore.

* * *

When she had let the prison tent after seeing Tamsin, the doctor's head was spinning with all the unasked questions she hadn't had the chance to bring up. She was angry at herself for allowing the Valkyrie to get under her skin so easily, but who was she fooling? It wasn't like she had put up much of a fight. She was angry at herself for not bringing up the dream; that was the whole reason she had decided to go see Tamsin personally anyway. Or was it?...

Lauren was confused but she wasn't stupid. Tamsin may have been once good at hiding what she was thinking or feeling, but not in this last life. The doctor had figured out that there was something more to how Tamsin was looking at her and treating her, even before the war, before she'd left. Neither of them had ever said anything and how could they? Lauren herself wasn't entirely sure she wasn't imagining it, maybe the Valkyrie was just playing with her like she did with everybody else, in that exasperating way of hers of acting and talking that made it impossible to tell when she was serious. If she was ever serious at all.

The doctor was actually relieved and grateful Tamsin had never said anything about what was between them either, that had definitely saved both of them a world of embarrassment. The answer would have been 'no,' of course. What other answer could there be with Bo there? Yet if she were to be entirely honest, she had always been intrigued. Intrigued by how someone so arrogant and annoying could also become one of the sweetest, most caring creatures she'd met, all in the span of five minutes or less. In all the years working with human and Fae patients, rarely had she seen one so inconsistent in behavior. The Valkyrie sometimes switched between emotional states with the fervor and frequency of a madly swinging pendulum. It was strange and, based on their previous interactions, totally uncharacteristic of the blonde Fae – the doctor was well aware Tamsin had been anything but fickle before her last rebirth.

She wondered if it had to do with this being her last life cycle or if it was Kenzi's influence. But then it hit her: Tamsin was only acting this way around her. Connecting the dots was easy then. The Valkyrie had feelings for her. And by the looks of it, she was struggling to keep them under lid.

And judging by how their 'reunion' had gone down just now, those feelings were still there. Lauren didn't know how to react, so she just ignored the elephant in the room, as she did before. But what made it worse was that unlike before, when she was just flattered and maybe a little curious, the doctor found herself considering what it would be like to reciprocate those feelings. What it would be like to be loved by Tamsin. The idea scared her, it was wrong to even think it. Not to mention way too late.

Lost in thought, she allowed her feet to carry her back to her own tent instead of heading back to the celebration and Bo. She was sorry she had to leave Kenzi there alone but she just couldn't put up with anyone right now, especially that there would be questions about Tamsin and her injuries, and the last thing she wanted to think about now was the Valkyrie. She needed to clear her head and figure out how to put all those wrong thoughts away for good. She needed Valium and a lot of sleep.

To her great chagrin, the universe seemed to have other plans in store. As she turned a corner, she bumped into the familiar figure of a tall man clad in dark clothing. Dyson. Just the person she really didn't want to see.

"Lauren, hey," he said in his trademark low voice.

"Oh Dyson, hi, sorry, you startled me…"

He ignored her comment and eyed her suspiciously. "What are you doing here? Are you heading back to the party?"

"Actually, no, I was going to head back to my tent, try to get some sleep…" She paused, waiting to see if he'd say anything. He didn't but there was something in his attitude that urged her to go on. "It's been a very long, tiresome day…"

"That it has been, indeed," he nodded. "You did well today, Lauren. A lot of good people will get to see their loved ones again due to you. Myself included."

She shifted her weight uncomfortably and just smiled. "It was nothing," she managed eventually. "Being my job and all…"

"How's Tamsin?" he asked abruptly. The question caught Lauren off guard. She knew it shouldn't have because sooner or later she was bound to report to someone about the Valkyrie's state, but she just hoped it would be later rather than sooner. She hoped she would have more time until she'd have to talk about it. The encounter had felt so personal that she surprisingly found herself unwilling to share any of the details just yet. So her response to Dyson's question was not necessarily what she had intended it to be, and it certainly wasn't the healthiest course of action for her – a mere human caught up in a Fae war.

"Do you even care?" she retorted sharply. To her surprise, Dyson lowered his eyes and made a long pause before answering. He seemed remorseful somehow.

"Look, Lauren, I know that… display earlier was not something you'd condone. And normally I wouldn't either, but it was necessary."

"It was barbaric, that's what it was," she raised her voice, throwing caution to the gutter.

"It's war, Lauren, you of all people should know. Our team needed the morale boost. She would have done the same," Dyson countered.

"I don't know why but I highly doubt that. She's one of us, Dyson, no matter all the bad blood between us. I mean, don't get me wrong, do I think she betrayed us, betrayed Bo? Yes! Does she deserve to be punished? Yes again! But she didn't deserve… that," she ended, disgust and disappointment seeping through her voice.

She was aware she was letting it all out on Dyson but thinking that it should have been Bo there, at the receiving end of her anger, not him. The thought made her sick. She considered briefly whether to continue or not and eventually decided in favor. _What the hell, too late to back off now…_ "She let you live, Dyson."

The shifter had a confused look on his face and opened his mouth to ask for an explanation, but there was no stopping Lauren now. "Your injuries, they were bad, yes. But they were carefully calculated, none of them serious enough to actually kill you. Tamsin wanted to spare you," she finished smugly. _Why was she enjoying this so much?_

The shifter stared at her in disbelief for a while, a hint of regret washing over his face. He nodded, but kept silent.

"Fine," she sighed. "She was hurt pretty badly, but with the proper care and plenty of rest she'll be okay in no time. She'll live."

"Good," he said after a long pause. Something changed in his attitude then and a vicious smile crept across his face. "Gotta say, Lauren, that last remark was pretty coldhearted, even for you," he snickered. "She won't live… well, not for long anyway," he added when he noticed the confused look on the doctor's face.

"But… but that's ridiculous… you can't…" was all that Lauren managed to get out.

"It's already done," he said, satisfied he'd gotten his payback. "Bo called the council, they'll convene in three weeks to decide how to execute her. Until then, she'll be thoroughly interrogated and we'll learn everything she knows about the resistance and where Trick might be hiding."

"You mean tortured," Lauren said coldly, trying to ignore the overwhelming hurt and anger that ripped through her so violently that all she wanted to do was smash Dyson's face in.

"That's one way of putting it. But she's a big girl, she can take it." The doctor was too shocked to say anything else. Dyson waited for a while, but seeing that no reply was coming, he gave her a nod and turned to leave. He took a few steps then stopped abruptly as if he'd just remembered something, "And Lauren," he started, turning to face the doctor again, "it's time to man up. Bo wants you to oversee the interrogations… make sure the prisoner stays alive until the execution."

The doctor was grateful she hadn't eaten much that day. Her stomach revolted and as soon as Dyson was a safe distance away she started throwing up, allowing all the vile things that had happened in the last 24 hours to pour out of her along with all the alcohol she'd had.


End file.
